Comedy Sportz: Bottorff-star Galactica knocks the hair off of a brother


Bears, beets, Bottorff-star Galactica. From birth, there has always been that sibling rivalry dynamic between “Big” Dean Bottorff and “Baby” Jackson Bottorff. This competitive raising came to a climax in Citrus Valley High School’s 2019 alumni match, where the brothers competed on the ultimate bet: the losing brother’s head would be shaved.

Dean Bottorff is shaved by his longtime best friend, Raphael Berglas, a fellow team member, under a bright red light amplifying Dean’s ultimate defeat. (ALYSSA MARTIN/ Ethic Photos)

Dean and Jackson were assigned as the captain of their teams, alumni and student respectively, and created them.

The alumni team consisted of Raphael Berglas, Brooke and Lauren Ochoa, Charisma Garcia, Andrew Olsen, and Jacob Hall. The student team included all the current seniors in Comedy Sportz.  

“I had a lot of doubt leading up to the match because I knew how strong Dean and his team were,” Jackson stated when asked about the lineup. Despite this underlying fear, the players knew that they needed to protect their captain’s hair.

As the match went on, the teams were neck and neck in points, going back and forth based off of audience applause. Audience member Gabriel Dimas, who is a junior, was thoroughly entertained the whole night, going on to say that it is “always amazing to see the hilarious students there are at CVHS!”

The verdict fell into the hands of the night’s final pun game, Garth. In this game, each team is given a point per joke landed, so speed and wit were what determined the fate of the Bottorff’s hair.

The puns came like wildfire from both sides, keeping the scorekeeper the busiest he had been the entire night. This went on until the final whistle was blown: tension hung in the air.

Alumnus Dean Bottorff and Andrew Olson, leave the audience laughing, as they serenade each other in the game, genre replay, as Dean’s “Mr. Reeses”, dies in the arms of Andrew’s “Willy Wonka”. (ALYSSA MARTIN/ Ethic Photos)

With a score of 57-58, Team “Baby” Jackson was the victor! The blue team jumped for joy as the audience erupted in unintelligible noises of anguish, fear, and delight.

Junior Stephanie Smith joked that the “point system was rigged, sad “Baby” Jackson Bottorff didn’t get shaved.” After a dim of the lights, a switch of a red spotlight and a trigger of the dramatic music, the head shaving was now upon the Bottorff brothers.

Dean’s final words were those of support and respect for his little brother before saying goodbye to his hair. The electric razor was passed around to a few different people: Jackson, the Citrus Valley theatre teacher Elena Villa, the Bottorffs’ father and Dean’s best friend Raphael Berglas.

At the end of the night, the occupants of the Blackhawk Theater left, gaining hundreds of more laughs and one less head of hair.

After the match, Jackson reflected on the whole ordeal, saying “at the end of the night, our goal was to put the best match on for our audience. We both won.”

The team is now looking forward to their next match, the annual teacher match, on Feb. 8.

Jackson Bottorff displays his theatrical skill, as his team played Forward Reverse. He plays the face of a troubled camper during a forest exhibition.  (ALYSSA MARTIN/ Ethic Photos)

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