Society needs to change the way it thinks about love



Remember a first kiss? Has it even happened yet? Remember the first crush? Remember the anxiety and nervousness after seeing them? Remember knowing exactly what to do around them and when to do it?

It is not possible for any one human being to know the answers to the first four questions without another telling someone. However, humans have expected the answer to the fifth to be embedded into our minds at birth for centuries. According to the School of Life’s psychology series, the Romanticism Era initiated the focus on relationships to shift away from the business-deal-arrangement-type of relationship to what humans strive for today. Apparently, the people of yesterday decided the next best option was to go for a perfect, life long relationship.

At first glance, this is a perfectly realistic goal. Some might say it is even an admirable goal. It is time people realized that the standard goal set by people of the past is ridiculous. Being unable to talk to one another has been a disaster for modern relationships, for it makes humans expect perfection to happen naturally. In essence, it proposes that true love must end all loneliness.

Yet when picked apart, it is evident that this is not a realistic request for any one individual, let alone the human population. Romanticism tells to accept one’s partner wholly and that changing them is a last resort. It states that humans must have both inner and outer beauty, must be satisfied now and forever and never be attracted to anyone else. There must be no secrets, work won’t get in the way and each will be one another’s respective best friend and soulmate and manage life together with perfection.

But the most outdated, simple-minded, ignorant, blatantly naive and downright idiotic notion derived from this is that humans, who are undeniably mistake-prone and imperfect, do not need an education in love.

Why, in such a topic that consists of a complicated minefield of hormones and emotions, do we decide that people suddenly can figure it out on their own? Why do people assume that what one may not like is not what another one desires at all, but in the confusion of it all, accepts their fate?

There are instruction manuals on the simplest of projects, from tying one’s shoes to hanging a picture frame, that people ask others for advice on. It’s time the conversation was started. It’s time society changes the way it thinks. It’s time it revolutionized the way humans love.

Categories: Opinion

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