By DAVID MIKHAIL
It wasn’t long ago that I was studying for past semester’s finals. I was determined to take my time, comprehend the material thoroughly, and most importantly not procrastinate. Which was a huge issue for me. However, old habits die hard. It took me two days until I lapsed back into my former ways. In fact, I once found myself watching a 14 minute Ted Talk by Tim Urban that was titled “Inside The Mind of a Master Procrastinator,” alongside cute cat videos, while I was supposedly studying. That is when I realized that not only am I a procrastinator, I am, for the lack of a better appropriate word, darn good at it! With this recently acquired knowledge of myself, I came to the conclusion that I must help my fellow procrastinators (you know you are one of them) out and give, what in my humble opinion, is the best way to procrastinate. I mean if you waste time, you might as well enjoy it rather than just zone out staring at the wall. So without any further ado, here are the top 5 ways to procrastinate.
1. Check the refrigerator every 10 minutes. Just in case new food has magically appeared , although you are not hungry.
2. Go to Youtube to “Listen to music” (wink wink) to only find yourself, 5 hours later, watching cat videos, drooling over the screen without even having a single book out.
3. Text friends asking what the homework is, although you know darn well what the homework is, hoping that the conversation turns into a 57 text long discussion about Buzzfeed’s unsolved videos, or Don’t Hug Me I am Scared.
4. Binge watching Disney Channel movies, and shows, and crying all over again when Ellie dies in “Up”.
5. Take 64 Buzzfeed quizzes that tell you more about your personality, tell you which celebrity you look like, show you how you will look in about 40 years, or tell you your age and location based on how my day is going. (yeah that’s a real one.)