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Column: Learning to Grow Up

Love

By JASMYN GONZALEZ

​What is love? Love is something undefinable. For centuries, people have tried to put love into words and it has never been efficient enough to cover all aspects love provides. In search of what others might think are ways to define love, quotes were collected from REV’s faculty and staff. Along with my own ideas, here are a few of theirs, quoted anonymously upon request.

Family: Love is when a mother looks at her child and smiles because she is the most beautiful thing ever.Love is forgiving someone for something unforgettable. Love is forgetting someone’s mistakes and looking forward to the bright future they might share.

A story that shows how love is shown without the actual word being said is a story of brotherhood between one of Rev’s staff members, as follows:

“I have a brother. He’s a year older than I am and a couple years ago he wrote a text/letter to my sisters and I, saying that he had contracted cancer and that he was going to die. Because it After a couple of days I got a hold of him but, I didn’t want to call him on the phone because obviously he didn’t want to talk. I didn’t think I could talk either, without crying and stuff and so, I wrote him and I said:, ‘you know, I just feel like I’ve been such a bad brother. I don’t call you, I don’t talk to you all the time, I don’t do all these things, and I’m just a bad brother. He said to me: ‘you know, the best thing in the world is that we have each other, I’m still here,and we’re brothers. We’re never going to be perfect for each other; we’re never going to do everything the right way, but we have an opportunity in time to sit there and forgive each other. So, I forgive you for being a bad brother.’ Then he said, ‘I hope you’ll forgive me for being a bad brother’… we never said ‘I love you’, but he said ‘I forgive you’ and to me it was like the best outpouring of love anybody could give- is to just sit there and say, ‘I forgive you. Things that we did wrong, they don’t matter anymore because we’re better than that. We’re stronger than that; we’re different people than that now and I truly forgive you’. When I told him I forgave him, I felt like I was giving him a gift, but I felt like I was giving myself a gift then too. It was like, it took all that burden off of me and we didn’t have to go through all that drama of what we had done wrong…and then, we just moved on and we were friends until he passed away… That’s what we did.”

“I think a family that sits down to eat together for dinner at night is a sovereign kind of love.”

Friendship:Love is when your best friend brings you soup because you’re sick and need food. Love is when your friend opens their home to you in a time of need. Love is when you stay in contact with your best friend who lives miles and miles away.

Love is sacrifice.

And, I think instead of looking for the stereotypical signs of love and the usual ways to see if someone loves someone else, we should all try to look for the little signals, the little gestures and the small things people show us that sometimes are overlooked and unappreciated. Love is not only saying ‘I love you’ but also, showing it with actions.

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